Have you ever found yourself going over a conversation in your head hours later?

Something you said in a meeting. A chat with a friend. A difficult conversation that didn’t quite land how you hoped. At the time, it seemed fine. Then later, you’re replaying it.

• “Why did I say that?”
• “Could I have put that better?”
• “I wonder what they thought?”

I think most of us do this from time to time. Especially when we care about people and want to get things right.

I was really pleased to contribute to a recent Psychologies magazine article looking at why we replay conversations and how we can stop getting caught in that cycle of overthinking. One thing I’ve learned, both personally and through my work as a counsellor, is that sometimes we’re looking for certainty where certainty simply isn’t available.

We can’t always know what somebody else thought. We can’t edit the words once they’ve been spoken. And often, we’ve been far harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.

• Sometimes there’s something useful to learn from a conversation.
• Sometimes there’s an apology to make.
• And sometimes it’s about accepting that we’re human, we did our best, and it’s okay to let it go.

A little self-compassion can go a long way.

You can read the article here: https://www.psychologies.co.uk/do-you-replay-conversations-long-after-theyre-over-how-to-break-the-habit/